Love Haikus for Inanimate Objects

I try to give the people in my life plenty of affection and appreciation, but I don’t usually give much credit to the inanimate objects that exist only to bring me joy.

In the spirit of rampant Valentine’s Day commercialism, here are my expressions of love and devotion–in haiku– for the top ten best non-sentient beings in my life.

1. Static Guard
You tame me with love
When my hair goes electric
Like 60’s Dylan

2.Sunday New York Times
Smudgy black fingers
and smarts are what you give me.
Rave on, Grey Lady.

3.Diet Coke
Silver and red can,
Lift me with your bubbling fizz,
Caffeine spring of life.

4.Electric blanket
My heart may be cold,
beloved fire hazard,
but my bed is warm.

5. Colonel Mustard, 1970’s yellow Schwinn road-bike
Speedy yellow Schwinn
Take me on a ride of love
Helmet-guard my heart

6. Under Armour
Black stretchy fabric,
my super hero garment,
I’m snug like sausage.

7. Vertebra #4 of Peck’s Tyrannosaurs Rex at the Carnegie Museum
Jurassic neck bone
King carnivore of the past,
love time-traveler.

8. Macswell, the Macbook
Pretty glowing fruit,
you scroll me with two fingers
rescue from spyware.

9.My record collection
Stack of good ol’ tunes,
always a pain to move, but
you move me with song.

10.Porsche, the 1974 Porsche 914
You stall in traffic
and your roof leaks in the rain,
but my heart drives on.

This entry was posted on Sunday, February 14th, 2010 at 5:01 pm and is filed under wisdom. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.